The Chaplins: You get what you pay for.

So this is what they teach our kids in Milwaukee Public Schools:

It's important stuff, right?

Kid's Quotes

Anytime someone says ow! Ben gets in their face and very sweetly asks "are you ok?" "are you hurt?" in a very high pitched voice.

I asked Ben for a hug this morning. He said no, so I asked "just a little one?". He said "little hug" and gave me a hug, "little kiss", and gave me a kiss, "little treat" and went for the closet where I have the Halloween candy hidden.

Ben and I were grocery shopping. Out of the blue he looked up at me and said "great job!"

We have a hole in the back corner of the basement for the sump pump. There is a cover over it with a hole in it. Samantha was looking into it with a flashlight. She looked up at me with a dead serious expression - "Mom, I think I saw heaven in there."

Samantha: Why did you write your name with an L?

Me: Because my name starts with an L - Linda.

Samantha: No, your name is M O M, Mom.

Carter had given me some little tickets to give to Santa. I asked him what Santa would do with them. He replied "Do I watch Santa? Am I an elf? I don't know what he will do with them!"

Carter: "I wish you and Dad were Jedi knights so you could just read my mind."

Carter: "Mom, what are you doing with those boob covers?" That would be my bra he was referring to.

Carter: While having a melt down I asked him what was wrong. He answered "there is a key missing in the mystery and I don't know what it is!" Meaning he didn't know what was wrong.

Carter: The other day he was trying to figure out what had happened to one of his toys. He was talking it out with me:

"Someone could have taken it, correct?

I could have left it somewhere, correct?

It could be broken in the trash, correct?

Samanth could have hidden it, correct?" He went on for a few minutes with alll the possibilities, followed by "correct?" We never did find that toy.

Samantha: "Mom, we don't say mmhmm. You say 'yes Samma.'"

Samantha: "Butter is good for you. It has vitamins and fiber and it's good for your bones..." This is how I get them to eat vegetables and things that are actually good for them. It looks like Sammy has learned justification early (if a cookie has oatmeal in it it's good for you, right?)

Samantha: "No is not an answer!"

Carter: "You believe what you want to believe, but I know I'm right!"

Carter: "Just let me do what I want with my life!!!" I am guessing that's not the last time I will hear that one.

Mike and I were having a discussion the other day and we were talking kind of loudly. Carter put his hand up and said "Wait! You guys stop talking about this issue!" and then proceeded to mediate our discussion. Grandma Jayme would be proud.

Carter: "Mom, I have something secret to tell you. I put a tattoo on my butt." Probably a lot funnier now than it will be in 16 years...

Carter: "Mom, we will call you love nappy, because you love your naps!" So I nap frequently. It's hard work making a kid!

Samantha: "Can you turn on Dora for my babies?" Really? It's the dolls that want to watch TV?

Carter: "I don't need Samantha to say sorry! I already gave her a consequence, I hit her on the head!"

After telling the kids everything I need to get done today, Carter says "if you were a robot you could just do it all at once."

Carter: "Mom, when are you going to stop having babies?"

The next day, Carter again : "Mom, I think you should stop having babies." Is he trying to tell me something?

Carter thinks hiding from me is hilarious, especially in public places. The other day he hid from me as we came out of a store and I wasn't sure if we was still in the store, in the car or where he was. After a couple of minutes of frantic looking he popped out and yelled "Surprise!" Followed by "weren't you so surprised that I wasn't dead?"

I was holding a friend's baby and Samantha came up to me and said "ooooh, a baby! Babies are my favorite...and chips."

Samantha: As she is going to the bathroom, with a crinkled nose - "What's that smell?"

Me: "That's your bum."

Samantha: "No, it smells like you." Always blaming the stink on someone else.

Carter: "Bad news mom. I'm not Samantha's big brother anymore. She was doing something that I didn't like, so I quit." He took this very seriously and wouldn't help Samantha for the rest of the day.

Carter: "Mom, don't worry - if me and Dad and Samantha leave you won't be alone, you have Benjamin!" (the baby)

Samantha: "I am going to put this sticker riiiiight here on my bum." She was naked at the time.

Carter: "Mom, do you want a tall glass or a short glass?"

Me: "I'll take a tall glass."

Carter: "Um, we really like this juice and don't want you to drink it all, so you get a short glass."

Samantha, after I asked her if she needed help with her shoes: "No mom, it's a little bit tricky for you."

Samantha: "I made a tinkle! I'm Tinklebell!"

Me: "Who stinks?"

Samantha: "Carter!" She always blames Carter for stinking up the place. Needless to say, Carter doesn't appreciate it.

Carter: "Mom, you smell like skin."

Samantha with her hands in the air and a disgusted look on her face: "I've got germs!"

Samantha: "No way, hosee!"

"I made water!" Samantha refuses to say that she peed.

The Chaplins

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Monday, June 8, 2009

You get what you pay for.

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