First (and last) time out with Big Red

Carter had his follow-up appointment with his orthopedist today. It is the first time that I have attempted to leave the house with him by myself. I managed to get him some pants altered. They are in the picture. Don't mind the crazy chocolate covered face. This was from the fitting session. Anyways, I'm thinking it can't be that bad, right? Wrong. First off, we started out running behind, then it took longer than I thought to get him all strapped into his special vest. It's just a big fat pain to lift him into the car, get the wheelchair in the car and then do the whole thing over. I think that will be the last time he leaves the house for a while. At least until we have back up. I don't think my back can take anymore outings. I was thinking that maybe I would take him into school for Valentine's Day and then maybe Thursdays after that. I'm not thinking that anymore.

His leg is healing well, though. It still looks really broken to me in the X-rays, but the doctor assured me that all is well. We will be going back in 3 weeks, and then 3 more weeks. Hopefully we will get the cast off that last week, which puts us at the second week of March. I am pretty sure that puts us at 7 1/2 weeks in the cast, but who's counting? Carter was hilarious with the doctor. He was telling the doctor about how his leg was starting to itch inside the cast. The doctor told him that when his casted leg itches to scratch the free leg. Carter just laughed and told him that wouldn't work - there's no way the scratch could reach the itch on the other leg. The doctor laughed and said that Carter is the first person to ever question him on the scratching theory. He went on to tell the doctor about how his bones just needed to slide back together and that he should just take another look at the X-ray. Overall, he's had a great attitude and I am really proud of my little guy.

Mike leaves tomorrow super early for his mom's funeral in Rexburg. I am sad that I can't be there for the funeral and to support him, but as I mentioned before, Carter doesn't travel well. We are actually doing pretty well with everything. I think the shock of his mom dying was the worst, and I am sure the funeral will be hard, but we did know this was coming and we have had a long time to prepare ourselves. That along with our faith in our Heavenly Father's plan has made dealing with her death a lot easier than it would have been otherwise. Mike will be back Sunday morning. We are going to have some friends over for the Superbowl that evening. I think we all need something to show that our lives aren't competely turned upside down and regain some sense of normalcy. Now if I can just survive this weekend...

Sad News

Phyllis Jayme Chaplin passed away this evening peacefully. She was a wonderful woman who put up a long, hard fight against Hepatitis C and the resulting liver failure. She will be remembered by all those who knew her as a selfless woman who loved to serve those around her. She got her master's degree in counseling (graduating at the top of her class) and it was her passion. Her favorite job was helping at-risk teenage girls get into college. She had plans of counseling at local elementary schools if she were to recover. She loved her children fiercely and was a wonderful Grandmother. I could go on; there was so much more to her life. She had beautiful blue eyes-all of her nurses mentioned them. I am lucky to have that little reminder of her when I look into my kids eyes. She will be sorely missed by everyone, but we are comforted by the knowledge that we will see her again and that she is now free from the pain and suffering that she endured so well this past year.

She went to college at Ricks in Idaho and loved it there. Hiking the Tetons was one of her favorite memories. She will be going back to Rexburg to be buried. She has family there, and it was her wish to be buried there. Funeral arrangement are being made. If you need information, contact us.

Thank you to everyone who loved her, visited her, worried about her, or prayed for her. She was loved and I think that she knew that. As her family, we have been touched by all of you.

Two more

Handicapped Parking. Although pretty much everyone who goes to the hospital has it as well, so it does us no good at the one place we will actually be taking Carter anytime soon. Still, we have it. I can't bring myself to use it without him though. Dang conscience.

Less mess. He can only make a mess as far as he can throw, and that's not far. He's not making messes in the basement. Really, this one makes me kind of sad. I would trade the mess for a little boy who could play.

We are doing pretty good considering everything. Since we have been home it hasn't been too bad. He is definitely a little more cranky, partly because he isn't sleeping well at night, and partly because he is frustrated with his situation. My one complaint is that I am just tired all the time. I think I am still behind on sleep from the three nights at the hospital and with him not sleeping well, I just haven't had a chance to catch up. Hopefully this week I will be able to sneak in some naps.

I have been more than overwhelmed by all of the people who have called to offer their support, time and service. I couldn't be taken care of any better if I were close to real family. It is so comforting to really see the extended family that we have created out here and to see the genuine goodness in people. So thank you everyone!!!

Staying positive

We are trying to stay positive and think of all the good things about our spica cast situation. Here's what we have come up with so far:

-Less laundry. He's not wearing pants or underwear, which means I don't have to wash them.
-Less guilt. What else is he supposed to do besides watch TV and play video games all day? Alright, he does do other things, but now I don't have to feel bad about letting him watch TV.
-He stays put. When we put him to bed he used to sneak out of bed sometimes. No more! He does yell rather loudly for us, but he's not going anywhere!

That's all we have come up with so far. We're working on more.

On another note, it looks like Mike's mom isn't going to make it much longer. The hospice nurses have started her on Morphine and she is declining quickly. He's trying to spend as much time with her as he can. What a week, right?

We're home!

We're home! It feels so good to be back home. One more night in the hospital and I think I would have poked my eyes out with pencils. Hopefully Carter will sleep well in his own bed. I know I will. However, it is a little bit scary knowing that I am on my own tomorrow. I guess I have to figure it out sooner or later, right?

I have to say I am so impressed with Carter. He has actually been really happy today. He is not needing his pain meds as much (although he isn't afraid to ask for them) and has been trying to make us laugh. He has already figured out his wheelchair. Today while we were in the pharmacy I turned around after paying and he was gone! He had backed himself out into the hallway. Needless to say, he was very pleased with himself. He has learned how to turn and can now get himself from the living room to the kitchen and back. I think this week will be the reality check where I will learn what the next 7 weeks will really be like. Luckily, I have already had a number of people offer to help and my sister is coming out in February for a week to help out. Hooray for friends!

Carter meet spica, spica, Carter.

Here it is in all it's glory:

There is waterproofing tape all around the hole for his little booty and then a diaper slips inside. That's right. The boy that I spent over 1 year potty training is back in diapers. I am hoping once we get home and his diarrhea is gone (TMI, I know) we will be able to get him to the bathroom, although I have absolutely no idea how. That's alright, though because I have 7 weeks to figure it out. That's right, 7 weeks of this. 7 stinky weeks of carrying him around. We did get a special car seat for him and a wheel chair, so we can leave the house if we ever want to inflict that upon ourselves. I don't see that happening for a while.

As much as I hate the cast, I love that it has made Carter feel so much better. The first time they had to move him after they put it on he started crying, anticipating the pain. Then when they moved him, he said in his high-pitched voice "Wow, that didn't even hurt!". It was a relief. He still dreads being moved, but he's getting better. He is definitely getting back to his old self, posing for the camera and making funny faces. And yes, that cast does go all the way up to his little boy boobs. Anyways, it all seems incredibly overwhelming right now, but I am sure we will adjust. It's like God is telling me that I should have gained more patience when he sent the little trials, because it seems like they keep getting bigger. Maybe this time I will learn. Probably not.

Little Samantha rubbing Carter's head trying to make him feel better:

I am overwhelmed and grateful for everyone who has expressed concern, offered to help, babysat Samantha, and visited Carter. Thank you! It really means a lot, especially when we are so far from our families.

Wish us luck!

Carter is going down to the OR in a few minutes. They still aren't sure whether they have to go in and insert rods or just put him in a spica cast. You don't know what a spica cast is? I am pretty sure that spica stands for Super big Parental Inconvenience Cast Apparatus. I know it helps him heal and if it's what they decide to do, we will live with it. It is basically a cast that starts around the belly and goes down at least partway on his good leg and at least to the ankle of his good one. It has a hole cut out for his business. Think about that for a minute. On the other hand, I don't want to have him have surgery either, so it sucks either way. However, with the surgery, it's just crutches instead of immobility for the next 4-6 weeks. But then they have to go back in in 6 months and take them back out. I guess it's a good thing the decision isn't mine. Either way he will be put under, which will be so good for him. He has been so brave, even though he doesn't think so, because he cries sometimes. We have had to move him around a little bit for diaper changes and positioning and the poor guy just cries for us to stop. He cries for me to make them stop as I am helping. It is breaking my heart. Hopefully he will have more stability after today and it won't hurt as much.

The nurses all love him, because even in all this pain, his personality still shines through. Yesterday as we were moving him, he was crying out "'Help me, help me, ayudenme, help me!" It was hard not to laugh a little. He's always informing people that the X-ray showed that his leg is broken and showing them with his fingers. He hates his IV and the traction, so hopefully he will be able to go home today.

Another sad first...

My little man broke his leg today. We were at a furniture store and Carter loves to get up and test all the couches "looking for somewhere really comfy". We had told him that he can't put his shoes on the furniture, so he took them off to sit on the couches. When it came time for him to put them back on, he didn't want to and took off running. Unfortunately, is was a slick concrete floor and he fell. He didn't scream or anything, just cried and said he had broken his ankle (he's told us this before). Mike and I thought he was just being dramatic so we took him out to the car, thinking we would go home and check it out before we decided what to do. When I went to get him out of his seat at home he grabbed his armrests and I could tell there was definitely something wrong. I took him to the insta care, because it's super close to our house (side note - when you have a children's hospital 15 minutes away, just go there - it's worth the extra co-pay). It was obvious that he was in a lot of pain, but he just fell and landed on the floor. He said his femur (thighbone) hurt. You don't just break your femur falling down, right? Wrong. Poor kid. As soon as we pulled his pants off it was obviously swollen, bowed, and one thigh was longer than the other one. I know that there was no way I could have known, but when he should have been immobilized, I was driving him to insta care, carrying him in, pulling off his pants when they probably should have just been cut off, and carrying him to the X-ray. I feel horrible. As soon as they saw the X-ray they called Children's Hospital and got an ambulance. They came and put him on a body board, got an IV going (on the first try, thank goodness), and gave him some morphine. There was talk of surgery, it was a spiral break, clean through. Luckily once Ortho came down they decided that they could do a closed reduction with anesthesia. Unluckily, if we want the best orthopedists, we have to wait until Monday morning to do that. So Carter is stuck in traction, doped up on Morphine and Valium until Monday. At which point they will put him in a full leg cast that wraps around his hips. To say the least, the next 3-5 weeks will be a challenge. Moral of the story: When your kid says it's broken, it just might be. On a more serious note, I don't think I have ever experienced anything so heart wrenching as seeing him in so much pain. When they were putting him in traction his whole body was shaking and he was crying for them to stop. He didn't care that it would make him feel better later. I don't know how parents with really sick kids deal with it. I would rather break both of my legs than see him go through this. It definitely makes me think differently about my own parents and appreciate all that they did for me growing up. I can't wait for this to heal so he can get back to being himself!

Stinky Snow.

Carter's prayer tonight:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We are thankful for our house that keeps us safe from the cold and we ask thee to help the snow melt faster and faster and faster because sometimes we hate it.

AMEN!!!

The last month in a nutshell

It has come to my attention that I have been neglecting my blog. Let me hit the highlights of the past few weeks to illustrate why this has been the case:

New Year's Eve was actually fabulous. We had friends over for a fondue dinner. Although it fizzled out around 11, I think that is to be expected without the liquor that would accompany any other New Year's Eve party. Plus, almost everyone either had young kids or was pregnant. Not necessarily the recipe for a rager. In all though, I had a great time and really enjoyed having our friends over. It will definitely become a tradition.

We made (and have already broken some) New Year's resolutions. The most drastic being living on a budget. My parents are cringing as they are reading this, but I have never done a real budget. We usually pay our bills, then spend whatever is left and occasionally more. According to Suze Orman, on Oprah's best life week (which shows how lazy I have really been this month) this is the year that will make or break us, so we figured we better get on the ball. I am doing all of my shopping with cash, which really makes you pay attention to what you spend. While it may be the responsible thing to do, it is definitely not fun. Maybe it will be funner when our budget grows...

The average temperature here in Milwaukee over the past few days has been -10. That's -45 with wind chill. Mind you, that's not based on anything scientific, just my own personal observation. Carter had his winter break over the past month, which allowed us to stay home 5 out of 7 days each week. Sure, there are indoor places to go, but you have to go outside to get there. Which at this point just isn't flying. Carter started school again on Monday, but today and tomorrow are too cold to leave the house, so we are staying home again. The high for tomorrow is -2. That's right, -2. That's about -30 with wind chill (according to the weather man, not me). The cold has sucked all of the energy and motivation right out of me. I don't want to do anything but sit on the couch bundled up drinking hot chocolate. When it comes down to it, that is the main reason why I haven't been blogging. My hands have to be uncovered to type and it's just cold! Remind me again why I live here?