I'm Buzz Lightyear, I come in pace

The title isn't a typo, Carter really thinks that what he says. I guess he doesn't know what "Peace" means, so he uses pace. Who knows, it makes sense to him I guess. The whole point of this is that he found his old Halloween costume today and decided to wear it... To the 2 grocery stores and the library. Purple "helmet" and wings and all (we want him to be safe, right?). You can imagine the looks I got. I can't tell you how many kids I heard whisper to their moms "That kid is dressed like Buzz Lightyear!". I am sure that was a fun conversation for those moms - "I know that mom lets her kid go out in costume, but no, you can't wear your pumpkin costume to school today..." Sorry... Anyways, he was super cute today. Before we left he told me very excitedly that everyone at the store was going to be so excited to see Buzz Lightyear. He spent the morning jumping from a laundry basket into his bed in an attempt to fly. What it would be like to be so young and innocent again...

Invisible Mothers

I got this from a friend and loved it. Don't we all feel this way sometimes?

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude, but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' The workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime, because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine for a monument to myself. I just want him to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.' As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great job, MOM!

Finally, A New Post!

I have just been busy lately trying to get this house put together and just enjoying the great weather that we had last week (of course it is rainy all this week). I have better about taking my camera with me places, so I have a million pictures to download. Enjoy!

Easter Morning: The coveted Snickers Egg (it's filled with Snickers).

The aforementioned non-shooting Pez dispenser.Samantha's Easter balls(?). The Easter Bunny is too accustomed to bringing boy things to this house. At least they are pink and purple, right?Carter was incredibly proud that he had made his own breakfast one Saturday while Mike and I were upstairs. Look closely--yes, that is a mixing bowl and that would be water, not milk. Gross! He ate most of it, though. Samantha will climb up anything. We walked into the office and found her on top of the step ladder jumping up and down. She would have stayed there all day if we would have let her. Carter enjoying a movie somewhere in Nebraska. I swear that has to be the flattest, boringest state ever. The kids get jobs at the McDonald's just to get some small glimpse into what is happening in the real world as people stop in on their way through.

Samantha playing with her cousin Brady who so kindly shared his fabulous toys.
The weather in Denver was sooo great! We went to the park without jackets! It was the first time that I worried about sun exposure in a long time. Our pasty white Wisconsin skin was in shock at the first rays, but after a while we remembered what it was like to have more skin exposed than the space between your coat sleeve and your mittens. It was great. Then just like that we were back in Wisconsina and it was gone.

Mike enjoying some downtime with the kids. Although the reason he had off work wasn't ideal, it was nice to have some family time!

Samantha discovered Noodles and Co's Wisconsin Mac and Cheese (it's even called that in Denver, where it's headquarters are, incidentally). She could not get enough! This one I just noticed as I was editing the pictures. Same:
Same: Not much doubt that they are siblings, right?
Please, Mom! No more pictures! Carter is finally starting to see that a little sister can be useful after all:
Samantha has this fascination with sunglasses and has never been able to get them to stay on her head. She was so excited when these finally stayed!
Almost home! It took FOREVER to unpack everything, but we did it!
Back home, enjoying a day at the zoo. It was Samantha's first train ride. I was afraid that she was going to dive out mid-ride, but we were able to keep her inside the car.
We hit Cold Stone after the zoo. I told Carter about it forever ago, but we haven't gone. He is always talking about it like we go all the time. So we finally went. Stating the obvious, Carter loves chocolate. This was only the beginning. It was downhill from here. Let's just say I had to wash the coat. And the shirt. And the pants. Samantha was content just to push this chair around Cold Stone until she fell backwards and it landed on top of her. The chair seat landed right on her little nose, giving her a bloody nose and cutting her right below the nose. I thought about taking a picture, but I am not sure I want proof of my neglect. It turned out to be fine, and she recovered within a few minutes. Here she is pre-fall.
We had such a great weekend! The weather was fabulous, so we spent Saturday outside trying to make our house look a little better. There is a strip of dirt running between the driveway and the house that was overgrown and just a mess. There were a few trellises help up with twine and broomsticks, and an ancient clothesline with old rusty poles. It ended up taking the whole day just to tear everything out and make it so we could plant anything. After taking the afternoon tearing out everything living or not, our neighbors come over to introduce themselves and start talking about the amazing hollyhocks that grow 10-15 feet tall each summer in that little garden. Oops. Not anymore. There was something with incredibly large roots. How am I suppsed to know that it's not some random weed? We did plant some roses, though. I got them for $3 a bush from Sam's Club. That seems really cheap. I am not really expecting them to make it and if they do, I will be amazed if they bloom. I also got some raspberry and blueberry bushes from Aldi. Again, super cheap. If this is one of those instances where you get what you pay for, I am screwed. The next outside project is the back yard. Yikes!

Finally Home!

We made it home tonight after a long couple of days of driving. I am sooooooo glad to be home! I am glad that we went, though. The weather was awesome, and it was great to see Mike's mom and grandparents and meet some more of his family. They are so nice! Mike hasn't seen his cousins since he was very young and they didn't hesitate to take us in and take care of everything we needed. We stayed at his cousin Jayme's house, which worked out perfectly because she has a 16 month old and so everything was childproofed and there was plenty to entertain Carter and Samantha. Mike spent a lot of time visiting with his mom and we were able to get some of the insurance mess cleared up. I am finally starting to understand what all the hoopla about the health care system is about. I have always had great insurance and I have seen plenty of needy people get Medicaid fairly easily. But Mike's mom just can't get a break! She was married to a Canadian and lived in Canada for the past 7 years or so. She is now divorcing him and has moved back to the states. But because her divorce isn't final, she is still covered by Canadian insurance--that sounds like a good thing, right? Well, they won't cover her down here in the states, but because she has this "insurance", she doesn't qualify for Social Security or Medicaid meaning she has nothing. She is too sick to work, so she is up against a wall. Mike and I spent the majority of our time there trying to figure out how to get her some sort of assistance. Her dad is still working on the Social Security thing, but we were told that it can take years, and most people are turned down a few times before they are finally approved. How messed up is that? I am starting to think that Obama's universal health care may be the way to go....

Anyways, we are just very glad that she has family there in Denver to take care of her. I was so impressed with how great Mike's cousins and aunt have been with his mom. They really taught me a lesson on what family is all about. I left very grateful for Mike's job, our awesome health insurance, our health, and our family. We have been very blessed and I know that I forget that sometimes.

I was also very impressed with Denver. This was the first time that I have been to Denver since I was too little to really remember and I absolutely loved it! The weather is great, we had sunshine everyday. Even when it did snow the night before we left it was gone by that afternoon. The people are laid-back, there are mountains, plenty of running/biking trails and I just really felt at home. I told Mike that when he is done at Kohl's, that is our next stop. 300 days of sunshine a year, can you really beat that? That is a full 295 days more than we get here in the frozen state. Plus they have the Broncos. Who doesn't love the broncos? In reality, I am just really hating Wisconsin weather right now. If it weren't for the great friends we have here I would be looking elsewhere.

Anyways, it is late and I am beat from the drive. I have some pictures, but they will have to wait.

So long...

I know it has been forever since I posted, but things have been crazy around here. Every day I think of something new that I want to blog about, and I just don't get to it. We had some friends over for Easter, so we were using that as a deadline to get some house projects done. We got a bathroom vanity installed and the office painted, some new office furniture assembled. I have pictures, but I am not at home right now to post them, so later on that....

Easter was so much fun. Carter is just starting to get the whole holiday thing and had a blast looking for Easter eggs. I have never seen a kid get so excited about a Pez dispenser. He was a bit disappointed when he found out that it didn't shoot out candy like he thought it would. He and Samantha both had colds, so they stayed with Mike at home for church. It was too bad, because our ward choir had a whole program and it was amazing. I am talking professional quality here. It was very nice. After church we had the 4th annual Easter dinner/egg toss. Our numbers have grown, so we had it at our place instead of at the Callisters. It was so much fun. I love having people over. Even though it is a lot of work, I love it. I would have people over all the time if my house wasn't completely torn apart half the time with our projects. The food was awesome, especially the dessert, homemade eclairs and strawberry shortcake. yum! I really had high hopes for the egg toss this year (you would think that after 4 years of hearing "soft hands!" I would get it), but our egg cracked on the 3rd toss and broke completely when I missed Mike and hit the O'Neill's car (oops!). Mike and Jessica Spencer won for the second year in a row. I guess we'll have to practice more for next year.

The big news as of late has been Mike's mom. She has been sick for a long time, she has Hepatitis C and is in serious need of a liver transplant. We talked to her on Sunday and she said that she needed to go to the hospital but didn't want to. We tried to talk her into going, and by that night she was slipping into a coma and she was taken to the hospital (this isn't new--her liver is shot and when the toxins build up in her brain this happens). Anyways, Monday we received a call saying that she wasn't waking up to eat, drink or take her medicine and she would probably die within a few days. We have always known that this would happen one day, but this really caught us all off guard and we were devastated. By Tuesday she still wasn't awake, and we were told that if we got here by Thursday it may be too late. So we packed up the kids and drove through the night to get here (to Denver) Wednesday morning. We went straight to the hospital where miraculously she had woken up. She still looked terrible and was very confused, but at least she was eating and taking her meds. By yesterday she was alert and talking with everyone and she was discharged today from the hospital. What a releif! She is still very sick, but her parents are staying with her up here and are planning on staying here and taking care of her. I put absolutely nothing past this woman, she is one tough cookie!

So anyways, here we are in Denver at an impromptu family reunion. We are now just trying to get her house in order so she can move back into it with her parents (she has been renting it out to some shady people). We are heading back Sunday and should be home sometime Monday. More then!

Sorry Sarah...


You Are Mulan!

Strong and spirited. You're no one's girly girl; actually you are very determined person with a strong sense of self. Never let go of that! The only thing that equals your sense of self is your family, but the traditions of society can always be bent to protect something or someone you love.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Random Pictures

Here are some random pictures that I have taken over the past little while. Enjoy!

Carter taking a nice little foot bath. He thought that the foot bath is what made my toenails turn red, so he kept excitedly asking "what color do you think my toenails will come out?" I would have painted them for him, but I know that Mike frowns upon that kind of thing...Here I was really trying to get a picture of Carter with his ginormous headphones on, but I love the dirty look I got. He loves to take his time, listen to a little music, watch a little TV, just hang out on the potty. It must be genetic.

We resorted to making houses out of the cardboard boxes that we had downstairs. Where is spring?Samantha insists on crying herself to sleep every time she goes down. It makes absolutely no difference what we do, and we have tried everything. Apparently the other day it was just too much for her. When I went in to wake her up for church, this is what I found:

This is the best way to show you her new laugh. It totally sounds fake, and she does fake it, often. She just opens her mouth and lets out this loud laugh that almost sounds like a fat man coughing. It is hilarious. She does it whenever you laugh at her, or when anyone else is laughing around her, whether she gets the joke or not. Man, where did she get that big mouth?

She has discovered raisins. It makes no difference that she only has 2 teeth, she will gum them forever. She found a box in the diaper bag the other day and was so pleased with herself that I couldn't take them away. She probably had half of the box in her mouth at one point, she just kept shoveling them in!

Here she is doing the aforementioned laugh. She discovered that she got a reaction out of me when the nasty half-gummed raisins fell out of her mouth, so she kept doing it. After a minute of this, I was able to bring myself to take them away. Yuck!

Mike and Carter out trying to break up the ice on the driveway. My dad said that they have some green things coming up in Utah (plants). NOT FAIR! Look at all the nasty dirty snow. Why are we still here?